For the one...maybe two readers out there, yes I am still here. I know I have been silent most of the summer. Not because I have nothing to say. I have a lot to say actually, but I either literally do not have the words, or I have the words but can't exactly put them out for the whole world to read without sounding like a crazy heathen. The most I have done (blog wise) over the past few weeks is delete a post. Kinda the opposite idea I'm going for here. But I deleted it because I questioned the truth it held. I refuse to write or teach something I don't believe in. At the time I fully believed what was in that post, but now, I'm not so sure. In reality, the thought has crossed me mind more than once to delete this whole blog and wash my hands of it. But I decided to delete just the one post and let the rest stay...for now.
I had an English teacher once say "Say what you think today. If it changes tomorrow, that is okay." Those are the words I am living by this summer. So much is changing, not just school but how I process information and how I look at the world. If its a good or bad change is yet to be seen. But I do think I will come out with a deeper understanding of myself and hopefully of God also.
Its interesting though, how one person or one simple thought can trigger an avalanche wondering, doubt, and discovery. There are points in life where we just set out to figure out who we are. Different places and milestones in life make us want to seek out new ideals, theologies, and self-discoveries. Other moments in life thrust us into this self-discovering journey without so much as a compass or i-phone app to guide us. These are the moments we have really no say over but more often than not, truly figure out what we are made of.
Sorry for the crazy ramble. Like I said, I haven't quite figured out how to word all this and not come out sounding like the crazy person. But when I do find the (sane, clam, Jesus-friendly) words, you all will be the first to know. :)
