Until he returns....

There has been a question on my mind lately. The question of 'why is there so much pain in the world? I know this question can often lead to anger, running from God and getting really off track but I promise that is not the case here! I am in a really good place spiritually. I just feel like I am surrounded by people who are hurting.( I am also surrounded by people who are celebrating.)

 I have several friends who are either physically, emotionally, or spiritually hurting. Working at SAFE, I am surrounded by hurt all the time. It breaks my heart when I don't understand the pain. I hate seeing people feeling isolated. I hate not knowing what to do.  But my heart breaks just as much when I do understand someones pain, when I understand being so deep into the dark you didn't think you will ever see the light again. It hurts me physically to know exactly how they feel but can't fix it.

I don't understand pain.
I don't understand why we are relational beings if we continue to hurt others and to be hurt.
I don't understand why there is so much pain and what feels like not enough love.
I don't understand why we have free will and choice when we continuously screw up.
I don't understand why there is depression, war, suicide, abuse, fighting, abandonment, and regret.

 I watch people struggle. I have hurt people and people have hurt me. And deep in my heart, I just don't understand it. Don't mishear me. I do, from a logical stand, understand why there is pain. I know where it comes from and I can see the cause and effects of how things happen. But in my soul, my heart, and my spirit, I don't understand why we live in a world with so much brokenness but serve a God who is so completely whole.

Sometimes I let the pain and not understanding totally consume me. I ask God why he allows this to happen, like God is unaware of what is going on.  I forget that God feels every pain I do. That God suffers along with me. I know if it is hard for me to see someone hurting, it has to be unbearable for God. We were not made for pain and hurt. We were made to be perfect, sinless. We were made to be in Eden, to walk with God, to be in perfect relationship with each other. Pain is unnatural. Maybe that is why I don't understand it.

The only thing I can do is pray for God to show me how to love people until Christ comes back.